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I'm an arranger. I like to arrange things. A lot of times I view things as an arrangement rather than a creation. Even though I spend hours writing my essays, I think in the end, it's only a matter of arranging information and ideas.
When it comes to photos though, I don't like arranging things as much as I like noticing that things are in fact already arranged, and then taking a picture of that instead. How do you think about photography? Is it a way of life? A medium of processing and expressing? - yourself, the world, and everything in between? Are images only reflections? (Biologically they are, right?) A static capture of the relationship between the one behind the lens and the one in front?
What I've noticed from my own photos is that sometimes I view myself as a glass wall between what it is I capture, and you, the viewer. The things that I take photos of, they're not exclusive, they're already there for everyone to see. I don't add to it, I don't take from it, but I notice it, and sometimes I wait for it - I wait for someone to walk and then I'll snap, for example, and the image is produced for other people to see as it was, right there. 'Wie es eigentlich gewesen,' said Ranke.
But of course, it's never just those things, places, and people you take a photo of, that you take a photo of, right? When you take a photo, you also capture something about you, what catches your eye, who you talk to, your relationship with the captured, etc. Sometimes you are silent and distant like a glass wall, as I feel about myself in these few images, but there is an unmistakable presence that is you, you who looked, who noticed, who waited and decided this was worth a shot.
In that sense, maybe there is no such thing as capturing something 'as it really was', as Ranke says, because every capture depends on the captor. The object perceived depends on the perceiver. And this is obvious when we ask different people to take a photo of the same place or thing or person.
I'm not entirely sure how to reconcile these ideas. I really do think of myself as a silent observer sometimes, some kind of documentarian. The things are really just - there - and I silently take a picture, that's all. But like I said, silence has an unmistakable presence too. Also, I'm talking about photographs assuming that they have some kind of relationship with a reality, but that doesn't have to be the case. And the parallels with the human eye, subaltern voices, violent histories, and painting (and whatever you can think of) are fascinating, but too much to talk about.
It feels like I've been taking pictures for a long time (feels only), and if you know me you will know that I can be incredibly private about it. I write quite often too, and keep a lot to myself that way. Something induces me to share this time. I think maybe there's been a little clarity into what it is my photos and my writing are about? Using film and my phone with minimal editing has helped a lot with that. Limited post-production has helped me to discern for myself a style and direction that is inherent to me. And it feels coherent enough to share.
So I think there will be a slew of journals coming up. Till next time,
